So, you’re newly single. The likelihood is that you’re feeling pretty broken right now, and we don’t blame you. Saying goodbye to any relationship is hard, even if your partnership wasn’t the healthiest. You can’t just turn your feelings off like a light switch. Unfortunately, wallowing in your sadness isn’t going to help you move on. Here’s what you need to do…
Delete and block their number
The easiest way to end up crawling back to your ex is by still communicating with them. Those moments when you’re crying into your ice cream because you feel lonely are when you’re most likely to pick up the phone and try calling them. You need to get rid of their number (and find a way to erase it from your mind if you know it off by heart) so that the temptation isn’t there during your darker moments. How else are you going to move on?
If you can’t bring yourself to do it, get a friend to. Chances are they’ll find it a lot easier to say goodbye to whoever broke your heart.
Do the same on social media
You still have them on social media? What did we just say?! All forms of contact need to be dissolved before you can hope to move on. Seeing their posts on your Facebook or Twitter feeds isn’t going to help you get over them.
Unfortunately, unless their accounts are private, you’ll need to delete AND block them on all platforms. It’s easy to still see what they’re up to, even if you’re not friends anymore, and that’s just asking for torture. Block. Them! The last thing you want to be doing is spying on your ex and discovering that they’re now in a new relationship.
Express your feelings
The problem with many breakups is that you never get the closure you need. If it was sudden or done out of anger, there can be plenty of unresolved feelings bubbling away inside of you. They end up causing major mood swings and make the process of moving on incredibly difficult. So what should you do?
Write everything down (or scream – screaming is also good). If you get out all the negative feelings that are still tying you to your ex, you’ll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Just make sure not to actually send them whatever you write. Not that they don’t deserve to hear it, but you shouldn’t be having any contact with them, remember?
Accept that it’s over
We know that’s not asking much and you’ll manage it easily, but some of us struggle with moving on a bit more than others. The longer a relationship has been together, the harder it is to break it up, let alone deal with it being over. It’s important to remember, though, that it ended for a reason. If you were the one responsible for calling it quits, then remind yourself of why that was. For anyone that was on the receiving end of the breakup, focus on the negatives that drove you apart. It will make it a lot easier for you to cope with your loss instead of reminiscing about how great you were together.
Find someone new (when you’re ready)
Eventually, you’ll need to move on to someone new in your life. There’s no set amount of time for when you should be ready for this, just go with what feels right. Launching into a new relationship soon after might not be healthy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hookup with someone else. Do what you want and don’t let your ex dictate how to live your life when you’re not even together anymore.
Breakups come in many different forms, and some are a lot messier than others. Although it might not seem like it at first, you will find happiness again. It might be a long journey, but consider these tips, and you’ll be fine.